Mar
11
2008
The New Razor
For two decades I’ve been using the same Gillette Atra 2-blade razor. It was handed down to me from my father, who used it for a decade before that. It was something of an heirloom. It served me well in that time and I never once had the urge to replace it. Due to uncontrollable circumstances I was recently forced to upgrade. At the drug store, faced with a stupefying selection of razors, I was tempted to just fuck the whole thing and dig out my Henckels straight razor. But that would be dangerous. Haven’t used it in years and I lost the strop in a move. I’m on blood thinners now. A cut in the neck could be fatal.
I settled on the basic Gillette Mach 3. Not the “Turbo”, not the “Nitro”, not the “Power”. The basic Mach 3. 20 years ago the bare bones Mach 3 would have seemed completely ridiculous. Three blades? Who needs that shit? Today it seems trite and antiquated. The Mach 3 has been embellished into no fewer than three offshoots, and has even been superseded by the mighty Gilette Fusion, a razor that seems inspired, at least in part, by the Heckler & Koch MP5 submachine gun. The fusion sports six blades. Six. Did I miss something along the way? Shouldn’t choosing a razor be easier than this?
Then there’s the price. Fuck man, I hesitate to get started on the price of these machines. Sure, they lure you in with the decently-priced razor & 2 blade combo pack (less than $15.00 at Shopper’s), but after that? Bend over, ‘cause this multi-blade shit ain’t cheap. Five Mach 3 blades? 15 bucks. Ten blades? You guessed it. 30 bloody dollars. The Fusion is even higher priced than that. I know that blades have never been cheap, but come on! When a pack of blades puts a decent hole in a 50, something has gone sideways.
This is all part of the never-ending string of embellishments foisted on consumers by manufacturers whose products long ago met our basic needs. You can see it everywhere, in almost any given product. Most people have been trained to be suckers for the new. Two blades? That’s so yesterday. Here’s a razor with SIX blades. There. Now THAT is the standard. A seven blade razor should be available by this time next year.
I’m keeping my beard.
Adam Snider
“I’m keeping my beard.”
You and me both, brother. You and me both.
# Mar 11 2008 · 23:22
Patrick
I’m an electric razor man myself. One large hit (or not, if you get it for Christmas), and the thing keeps going for years. No blade fees, and my last one went on shearing for over 10 years. Not only that, but it has at least sixty or seventy blades.
That said, it doesn’t shave quite as clean, but that can be ignored if one chooses to simply distract the world with gratuitous side-burns.
# Mar 12 2008 · 13:39
Mike Gravel
I used to have insane sideburns too. Thankfully, no photographic evidence of this exists. But they were cool.
# Mar 12 2008 · 16:41