Apr
10
2008
I'm Not Around. Leave a Message.
You know those annoying snapperheads who stand in line at Edo Japan and yak on their Borg-like cellphone headsets at conspicuous volume? I hate those guys. And the broads who yammer about their latest little tragedy while standing in the grocery queue? I can’t brook that shit. For years I’ve simply refused to own a cellular phone. 30 years ago they didn’t exist and the world got by just fine. The unobtrusive and now laughably antiquated pocket pager was all anyone ever needed. You called someone’s pager, they called you back in five. What was so bad about that? Do we really need to be connected 24/7? Did you hear that asshole answer his phone in the middle of the movie? Does anyone over the age of 30 care about text messaging? Who wants to view the internet on a screen the size of a baseball card (at best)?
The Parental Argument
My step-daughter put it to me in no uncertain terms: “If you’re going to be my stepdad, I have to be able to reach you. You need a cellphone.” Thus, I find myself precariously close to the black cliffs surrounding the sargasso of cellular phone ownership. I’ve had a cellphone before. Ten years ago I owned a Nokia 232. Nice little unit. But I got rid of it for a reason. I believed then, and still do a little bit, that the utility of the cellphone is invented. Maybe that’s a hollow argument. The utility of any tool is invented, isn’t it? In any case, the major cellphone companies are ballwashing bastards and if you want decent features, they’ve got you over a barrel. Mobile companies, airlines, and the insurance industry. They’re a special breed of crook.
Time to Cave
It’s time. I need to be in contact so I should have one. The choices are dizzying. Phones these days have so many superfluous (to me, anyway) features, and trying to find a stripped-down phone is like trying to find a clean beerhall on 95th street. My ‘ol Nokia did one thing: it made calls. Even by modern standards the thing was small. I’m gonna get gummed into having a phone c/w a camera, MP3 player, web browser, satellite radio receiver, and who knows what the hell else. And I’m going to have to deal with the yahoo behind the counter who likely just started shaving last week and thinks 1” ear stretchers are cool. Do I sound like an old man? Is it too much to ask to have a device that does one thing really well? You know, like a vibrator?
There are too many choices in the cellular game. I need some help. Any suggestions? I’m thinking Telus. Why? The commercials. Who doesn’t like dancing parrots? Anyone out there on Telus? How about Bell? Any complaints? What about these new guys, koodo or whatever the hell they’re called? Will they be around in a year? My head hurts already.
Adam Snider
I’m on Telus. I’ve never had any problems. Bell and Rogers are both cheaper, apparently, but most people I know who are on those carrier do nothing but bitch and complain about how crappy they are.
As far as a basic phone…just get whatever piece of crap they’ll give you for free with a contract, and ignore all features other than calling.
My cell is my only phone…don’t even have a home phone…and I basically don’t ever answer it unless it’s someone calling to get buzzed into my building. I hate phones, so I know how you feel.
# Apr 10 2008 · 23:47
Mike Gravel
Thanks, Adam. I dunno…Telus just feels like the most stable and best featured service, from what I can see. Their selection of phones is decent. And they’ve been in the game for many years and will likely continue to be.
# Apr 11 2008 · 10:35
Laura
I have a cell phone but hardly use it. If you’re just into talking, I’m with Fido and they have a plan where you can get 200 minutes a month for about $20-25 or so plus service charges. 200 minutes is good for short calls (well it’s over 3 hours a month) which should be enough time to keep you in touch with family/friends. With that plan you don’t need a contract – I just bought a phone from them for about $75 and can cancel at any time. Service is generally okay, except in concrete buildings of course. As for stable – I’ve been with them for 5 years and no problems.
# Apr 12 2008 · 08:35
Michelle
I would like to say, firstly, that I love your blog. As a former (and soon to be once again) Edmontonian, I love your blog.
However, as an insurance representative, I feel the need to defend the industry. Certainly, there are crooks out there (as in any industry) – however our actions as insurance industry employees are driven very much by government regulation. We have a legal duty to try and insure everything we can for you, as honestly and effieciently as possible. It’s true – we’re actually not allowed to upsell rediculous products that aren’t needed. Some people try of course, but the majority of us don’t, because it’s wrong.
I have to say that it would be REALLY nice if someone said “thank you” when I give my clients money after them having suffered a loss.
So blame the government, not the insurance industry. We’re no more evil than anyone else. Except for mobile phone carriers of course, those little spawns of Satan.
:-)
PS: I love Bruce Springsteen too!
# Apr 13 2008 · 04:45
Mike Gravel
@Laura: Thanks for the suggestion. I'll check out FIDO.
@Michelle: Thanks for the kind words.
RE: The insurance industry. They seem to be everyone’s favorite whipping boys, but I know you’re right. For the most part they’re good and understanding and have your best interests at heart. It’s the people attempting to commit fraud that really ruin for the rest of us honest joes. I just came off three months of short term disability so I really shouldn’t be making flippant comments. My insurer treated me very well and even offered to extend my coverage beyond what was recommended by my doc.
Vehicle insurance? I don’t know. I haven’t driven for a few years and I just found out that I’m considered a “new” driver, even though I have 15 years of insured driving history. That one stings a bit.
# Apr 13 2008 · 10:32
Rosemary
I’d go with Rogers plan if you have Air Miles or AMA you can get a plan which is $17.50 a month for 200 daytime minutes and 6pm – 7am unlimited and weekends as well. I hate all the features that cellphones have but Rogers is the cheapest and my sister’s phone same package with Telus is way more expensive. I have a Nokia music phone but found out later that the songs are $5.00 to download a piece so I use the free radio and phone.
# Apr 14 2008 · 15:35
Michelle
A massive part of the insurance premium sting comes from the various government taxes placed upon most policies. Vehicle insurance is another thing altogether. I do know however that I can almost never beat the quotes and coverage from the vehicle insurance companies here, so I know they’re not ripping people off.
I get the impression from various conversations that car insurance in Canada is much, much higher than it is here. I’ll admit that I’m a little worried about it for when I move back.
I’m pleased that you were treated well by your insurer, as you should be of course, and I hope that all is well.
# Apr 20 2008 · 20:17
Mike Gravel
UPDATE: I went with Bell. LG8700 phone. I’ve crossed over to the dark side.
# Apr 21 2008 · 08:49
Rosemary
Michelle,
Where did this insurance conversation come from? Mike was asking about cell phones.
# Apr 21 2008 · 12:41
Michelle
Sorry, I know it’s boring. I was just making a comment :-)
# Apr 21 2008 · 21:30