Michael Gravel Edmonton Writer

Four on Four

Being not quite 40, the boys and I seem to think that we’re still in the ring, so we’re doing something that will prove our past failings were not in vain: We’re playing in the Hockey Night In Canada 4 on 4 street hockey tourney at the end of May. Goalie and three on the court. Never mind that it’s been years since we played anything together, that is, anything more physical than a game of Monopoly. It’s all for shits and giggles anyway, and hell, we’ve even had our first practice, graciously hosted by my friend Scott in Summerview in Sherwood Park. We blasted around the orange hockey ball, put a few dents in his brand new garage door, torqued a ball into the rain gutter, and hit the neighbour’s house a few times. Just like old times.

Sorting The Lumber

I can’t see us making the playoffs, but we’re guaranteed to play three games in any case. Probably the funniest thing about this is the fact that we’re playing in the “legends” division. That’s the over-35 division. The highest-aged division. In sport, one’s career is over before life really begins. After my episode, I most definitely need clearance from my doc, but I should be good to go. My chest scar is nicely turning from a blooming Twizzler to a thin white strip and I’m feeling spry these days. Still, I have to be careful. A serious blow to the plexus wouldn’t be fun. The other guys’ll have to protect me, which is good, ‘cause when the gloves come off I wouldn’t want to be on the bad end of Scott. Been there and got the scars to prove it.

This means I have to spring for some equipment. Haven’t owned a hockey stick since I summarily renounced the sport and took up full time alcoholism back in ’88. Helmet, gloves, shin guards, and the all-important nad cradle will have to be purchased. The wife has a fistful of Crappy Tire money that she has graciously donated to the cause. I even have to break down and buy some running shoes for gawd’s sake. All those sayings like “dropping a load of pucks” and “taping the stick” will take on new, prosaic meanings.

If we win a game, the beer’ll flow and everything will be right in the world. If not, well, we’ll have had a blast duking it out with the seniors in the legends division. May we go down in a hail of slapshots (which aren’t allowed, now that I think of it) and take a few challengers with us. As my old pal Royce Garnet used to say, hoist that cup, or die trying. See you in the emergency room.

Entry #83 · April 29, 2008 in